Don't You Sass Me

He just doesn't want to hear about it- not from you Alice and certainly not from anyone else. Who cares if Four Lokos and obsessive tea drinking causes heart attack like systems? Or caused the DoorMouse to lose his home to foreclosure and forced him to live in a effing tea pot? The mad hatter sure as hell doesn't care.

That's What They All Say

There's really nothing else left to say.

"I was mistaken for an appetizer, okay."

Your name's also Pepe the King Prawn, whose full name is Pepino Rodrigo Serrano Gonzales, so...the real question is: is anything in your life under control? The muppets never cease to amaze me.
Slow your roll dude.

Enlightened Moments

Yeah that's usually how I feel too when I come across a truly offensive creation. or look at your face.
p'owned

The Eyes are the Window's into One's Soul

and apparently beaker doesn't have one...

Old School is the Best School

Old School blackout. That's real friendship right there.
But anywayyyyssss, these two paintings by George Caleb Bingham are suppose to depict a County Election and can be seen at S.L.A.M. (St. Louis Art Museum) It's also like...why are there two of these paintings...? Did he paint one then get blackout, forget he painted it, and do another? I mean have you seen what these people are doing? I really wouldn't be so surprised if that actually was the case. Some other fun highlights of this piece: the guy on the bottom right is going for the casual midday pass out and the guy on the far left is crushing another home brewed moonshine.

Old School Day Drinking Right Here.

I don't know what kind of elections you're going to...but the ones I attend usually involve old people pretending to give me instructions in English, smell like despair, and everyone is really sober.

Hey, but times they are a changing

The Hangover

If my liver had a face and could make expressions...this is what it looked like this morning.

Filthly and Wretched

No Shit Sherlock, most of us are squirrels.

Down and Dirty

Snow White doesn't have time to lose. A queen is trying to kill her, a witch is trying to poison her, 7 short guys chasing after her, and not to mention her pose of animals are everywhere.

So let's cut to the chase, no bs-wanna go makeout or what?

Two is Better than One

We've all heard of bi-curious..but can you be tri-curious? animals that is.

Life Lessons

Truth

Her Hair Is So Big Because It's Full of Secrets!

Natural Talent coupled with practice

Diamonds Are Forever

...It just feels too dayuum good.

Prepare to be in the pain zone tomorrow P-nochhi-o

I'm Like Pocahontas Doin' That Rain Dance

If you had a friend, maybe they'll let you stand under their umbrella' ella. But don't look at me, I'm not sharing with you-fool.

I'm in this business of terror, got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella.

but let's be real, I don't make it rain, I make it snow.

(and I know, I like Alice in Wonderland OKAY, deal with it.)

Paul Revere's Midnight Ride

YOU HEARD THE MAN!

I've got important places to be, and library that smells of rich mahogany and leather bound books! haven't you seen my windsor knot and ascot?! My wigs are custom, yours are just retail. Poor.

I don't have time for this, I have to go get tanked and bombed with my fellow chumps in the pub. I run Wonderland.

Wise Words

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency or Ignore Women's Rights, Acquire Wealth.

Why pick when you can have both?!

All Right. Let's Go.

Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
abso-fucking-lutely, and it's a limited time RSVP so get on it before there's a REAL problem in Wonderland.

but, alas, no thanks dawg.

FratDaddy

Need I say more? If you have a beer that large I am for sure coming to your party and pretending to be your best friend, I mean show genuine interest in your collection of lacrosse pinnys and visors. Gargoyle or keg stand anyone? ME FIRST!

Total Frat Move, enjoy it here. NOW

I'm Rock Star Wasted

Had four Fourlokos...don't remember anything since 2004. It's either that or Gaston just doesn't know how to read. bro or not bro?

Shout out to I Remember That for existing and being particularly funny about the realities of Beauty and the Beast on this post.

Animal House

Yeah, skump is getting his drink and his two step on in Sleeping Beauty's court. He's really trying to impress all those proper ladies with his wide repertoire of impersonations

Skump, the court jester is best known for his rendition of the drinking song relayed hur:

Skumps! Skumps! A toast to this night
When the outlook is rosy
but the future is bright
Our children will marry
our kingdoms unite
Skumps! Skumps! Skumps!
Skumps! Skumps! A toast to the home
One grander by far than a palace in Rome
Let me fill up your glass
that glass was all foam
Skumps! Skumps! Skumps!

yeah baby, music to my ears. I'm definitely going to try that at my next pregame.