Brantford Winstonworth

People tell me, Bratford, you don't belong at this school you're only here because your grandpa donated half the buildings, I'm like, you know what? FALSE! I work hard, I party hard! I'm very affluent.

truth, we all hear ya, and can watch yah here

but seriously,

anyone care to lax?

This painting is by Dutch painter Nicolaes Maes, and trust me, there's plenty more where this came from. shawing

Can't Tell Me Nothing

La la la Wait til I get my money right. Let the champagne splash.

I hope y'all brought your flippie floppies because Nemo is about to get down and dirty in the deep blue.

Step in the Club and all these Bitches Bug Me

and dey like "how you da dat?he can dougie on the floor!" and "dougie some mo'!"

yeah happy feet don't stop, look at that flock of wenches congregating around you.

This inspiration story about a dancing penguin really cuts to the core. If he can master the dougie-so can you.

so please,

teach me how to dougie

teach me, teach me how to dougie

teac me how to dougie

teach me, teach me how to dougie

all my bitches love e

all my, all my bitches love me

all my bitches love me

you aint fuckin wit my dougie

deuces

Just Pardon My Manners

Absolutely.

Bark! Bark! Bark!

Whaa? What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And ate the whole...wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing.

Great minds think alike. But obviously Wall-e doesn't speak Spanish! He's a machine- Chinese or Japanese only, duh. Sagwa.

Rise Up

Mr. Fredricksen is rolling about a million balloons deep right now...so, I'm just going to forfeit this one.

Sex Panther

You may have noticed Emile has managed to acquire the infamous Sex Panther scent. Which they've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time. Those biddie slices must be buzzin' around him like R. Kelly flocks to underage chicks or a good wife beater sale.

It's really quite pungent though. But it's quality surpasses it's vomitous scent- you know it's good because it's made with real bits of panther and is illegal in 9 countries! All i wanna do is douse my body in this stuff, and hit on every single girl that walks by and drink jagerbombs.

Whatever, to each his own, you know, desire smells like that to some people. Do me!

I Ain't Playing Around

That butterfly is in for a world of hurt if he doesn't step back.

Bambi's not playing around-just like those hunters weren't playing when they came clad in their Duck's Unlimited gear to pop some bottles, a glock or two, and hunt some venison for a casual smoke out. One false move and Bambi could go bat shit crazay. Listen to Ludacris, he knows and is like, "HEY! You want WHAT wit me?!?!? like hey stupid! don't make me lose it!! AND I'm having a bad day, don't make me take it out on you!"

I might start acting like that when I'm having a bad day. Maybe someone will give me amutli-million dollar record deal, ladiesz would flock to me, and I'd drive a drop top. In reality, I'd probably get arrested. It's worth the risk I think.

verbatim, don't believe me? check out the lyrics for yourself here.

Hob Knob

Forgive me, I had to-it was just too good to pass up. And just look at the expression of glee and delight on Alice's face. Apparently neither could she.

Afternoon Delight

ANGST.

well maybe if you hadn't jumped the gun on this one and drunk that bottle that said "drink me" you wouldn't be in this situation. If I ate and drank everything every stranger gave me to, i'd either be a college freshmen girl or i'd be on the fast track to owning and/or being in the back of one of these

yeah it's as bad as it looks. BUT THERE'S FREE CANDY INSIDE!!! i promise...Don't act like you're not impressed. Ron Burgundy would be. So just remember kids, don't do drugs...........become famous and you'll get them for free!!!!!!!

I Got My Swim Trunks and My Flippie-Floppies

Arms spread wide on the starboard bow

Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow.

Pocahontas never thought she'd be on a boat, but hey, believe her when she says that she effed a mermaid. Even Meeko is enjoying himself, he's probably got a nautical themed, Pashmina Afghan-or riding on a dolphin doing flips and shit.

Take a good hard look at the motherfking boat. Poseidon King of the Brocean can't handle this.

Gotta Run Wen I Hear That Bird Call (brrr brrrrr) DANG

Baby you gotta know that I'm just out here doing what I gotta do.

If they birdman says it, it must be true. It's that hustler musik, Young Weezy y'all. So ride to it yo, vibe to it yo dddaamn.

If you're spending most of your days just chillaxin on a telephone pole I'm pretty sure listening to young weezy wouldn't be the worst way to past the hours.

But it seems like these peeps have plenty to talk about. The couple of the left is like. "yeah that's right- I got my gun in my boo purse." The dudes in the middle are like, "Yes, I'm in the bulding, you just on the list of guest names." Thrilling conversation.

But anyways, Pixar for the win. This shot is from one of their short films called "For the Birds." So next time you see a bunch of birds threatening to poop on your newly washed car or your hair, remember-it's just out of love for the game...they just want to tell you something that you prolly should know.

Now tell me how you love it.

Go get'em Tiger

He's got women in the'burbs, Woman in the hood. Yeah his wifey mad 'cause she knows he's no good. Man, he's just a dog. He'd be faithful if he could. But hey-he's Tiger Woods. Yeah, He's Tiger Woods.

Gaston is really trying to lay the charm on thick here with Belle. but I'm pretty sure she's going for the casual vom on his face, when he's trying to go in for the kill.
Pros: Gaston is jacked, best hunter in the town, tailored waist coat with gold buttons (the old-school version of a blue sports coat with gold buttons), and not to mention a following of minions and wenches.
Cons: He's a dirty dirty man, talks a lot of smack, is not good to his momma, doesn't like books, and his henchmen/boysz are beat looking.
well beggers can't be choosers. Lucky for Belle the really really heinous beast in the castle ends up being a really fine dime of a Prince...who just happened to have a curse because he was a douchelord in years past.

Hey, at least like Tiger, Gaston admits he has a problem. A problem with being so good looking and charming.

I Love College

Shawty, your brain so good-school you went to college.
But actually, I found this priceless image in the basement of Eads (a building on my university's campus.) You most certainly do go to college, and you are the people's champ of America for finding this sign and somehow crafting and/or buying that sticker.
Baby, if I every meet you-you can have whatever you like, and Megan Fox agrees (even though she's a little cray cray.)

Optimus my prime anytime.

Conductor of the Blackout Train

You sly little SOB. The casual passerby of this painting is going to be like, "oh yeah, it's three guys just bro-in out drinkin' some moonshine out of a jug (they ran out of Olde English at the convenience store-naturally). no biggie "
FALSE. The guy in the back corner is going for the casual pee on the wall. He didn't even make it to the bathroom. It's like how sometimes girls think peeing in a washing machine is socially acceptable-it isn't. or flower pots are really just decorative urinals...not...well, debatable.
Regardless, how can the current generation help themselves or follow social norms when the Flemish set this kind of example in the 17th century? It's basically tradition now! It would be rude not to follow up, extensively. If anything is prescribed or depicted in oil paint, it must be the truth, brotha'.
So i guess David Teniers (1645), The Younger, had it right from the get go- peeps cannot control themselves.

You can't win them all.

Pursuit of Happiness

Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit

I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin' drunk, I'm doin' my thang.

Yeah...you must be on something if you're riding an oversized bird and a huge tortoise. This collage image by Georgina Berkeley can be seen in the Musee d'Orsay in Paris, home of croissants and the Eiffel Tower.

I mean, this must be a trend or something, because Baudelaire during the 1840's in Paris wrote about having a tortoise encrusted with jewels. A casual pet for the upper echelon of society, naturally. Get on my level!

But who cares what people think, i say do what you want. Even if that means riding a huge tortoise on the beach with your mom. because imma do just what I want lookin' ahead no turnin' back.

Thanks Wiz.

Miss New Booty

Dayum Gurl. Yous a Sexy Chick fo'sho. I am in awe as to how you were able to fit in those pants, it really is a true feat of nature.

The wonders of your body never cease to amaze me. Lucky Aladdin.

in 1992 when Aladdin was released by Disney you were still probably a dish. For all of you humans that haven't seen Aladdin it's about this street urchin...named Aladdin. Shocking. Who finds a genie lamp in a cave in the middle of the desert and wishes he was a prince. But alas, nothing lasts forever-it's not suppose to. This evil man named Jafar tries to swipe the lamp and etc etc. I don't want to ruin the ending for you. But a lot of the movie revolves around the Princess Jasmine who has a pet tiger (oh snap.) But she's pretty hard to impress, so unless you have a flying carpet or an 100 room palace in the Orient, I wouldn't go for her.

But maybe Chingy should try, because her waist is so little and her ass it like wo.

swoon. ladiesz man fo sho. You don't have to tell Aladdin

Oh Yah?

That's right, it is what she said.

What did you hook Donald? eh? EH??!

D.Duck has no idea what he has comin' to him. And Mickey Mouse is really the best wing man he could have asked for.

This painting (called, "Look Mickey" 1961) by Roy Lichtenstein really cuts to the core of the Disney Empire. Pure unadulterated truth in the spoken English language. I mean, who doesn't like a good "TOLD YAH SO" or 'IN MY PANTS!" after every sentence?

If you're in DC you can catch this painting at the National Gallery of Art in the East Wing.

Braid My Hair! Let's Paint Our Nails!!!!!!!!

And then we strip down to our bra and underwear and pillow fight! YOU WISH.

Pocahontas is a nice lady. Not only does she singlehandedly basically unite her people when John Smith and Co. come to America, but she has friends of all shapes and colors and hangs out with them on the reg.

For more info on Poca-hoooontas! click here

Found and No Longer Lost

Yeah Baby- Art Hurts.

Found this image here: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgs7wf3lbU1qcfji8o1_400.jpg

Thanks for existing.

I Gotta Stay Fly I I I I I I I I I I until I Die I I I I I I I I I I

Me and my Hommies, the Brosidians of the Brocean, are going to ride until we die up in this club.

Look how fly I look in these fresh new kicks and this ride with some bump in the trunk. Call me the juice and you know Imma stunt.

This is the big leagues, so rise up.

Oh man, Pixar never ceases to amaze me. "Up," is one of the greatest movies ever created by the hand of god and the workings of a computer. Within the first 10 minutes, you've probably experienced every single human emotion possible, and by the end of the movie you wish that you were a vaguely-asian-prepubescent-boy-scout with a grandpa-like mentor and talking dog.

At least I do.

I Got Money In The Bank. Shorty What Ya Thank?

Imma buy you a drank, oooh-eeee. Imma take ya home with me.

yeah...Maybe...if I'm blackout

Anyways, this shot is from The Princess and the Frog, a Disney take on the classical story. But this one takes place in Louisiana, and the Princess turns into a frog. What a pleasant surprise. Naht. Like seriously, if someone tricked me like that-i'd be FURIOUS. Now all of you will have to go watch the movie to see what happens.

I Keep My Shades On In The Hot Sun

wassup shorty? who is u? I couldn't even see you!

why? because i have these sahweet sunglasses on.

for realsz. Get with it- they had their first pair when they were ten trick.

I'm Gonna Hit This City

Yeah, good old $inderella knows what is going down. And with her set-up who wouldn't wake up feeling that good? She works day and night for her stepmother who treats her like trash, and gets bossed around by her two beat stepsisters. So tick-tock, times-a-wastin.

And My Wolf Pack...It Grew By One

ah, yes the pursuits of the young and restless.

This painting by Johann Heinrich Wilhelm called "The Children of Martin Anton Heckscher" (currently at the MET, more details hur) is just another depiction of the secret lives of old school youth. No school like the old school. Yeah I've got the freshest one piece pantsuit. Look at these golden buttons-GOLD, you can't touch this, even if you tried. My collar is so crisp I could cut you. My flow so lush. And yeah these shoes, cobbled by real elves. Naturally my next inclination is to go scout out some biddies and court some wenches, me and my wolf pack- we're the three best friends that anyone could have!

iPhone 4

Now that's how you let the beat build bitch.

Don't Waste Your Time on Girls with Hats. They Tend to be....

Proper?

Not too sure about that. Look at the seductive gaze from that saucy minx. This painting by Petrus Christus titled "A Goldsmith In His Shop" definitely has more going on than meets the eye.

It's been said that two standing figures are getting their coins weighed to see whether or not they have enough for wedding bands, or maybe something else? Who knows. But there's definitely something going on between that wench and that "goldsmith." just look at that downcast look, meet me in the bathroom in ten? threesome? And even weirder is in the bottom right hand corner, there's a mirror with two peeps just chillin-old school security system? I dunno where you're going to buy your jewelry and stuff, but I think i'll stick with non-hat wearing proper girls and boys.

But if things don't work out between the three of them, there are plenty of weddings they could crash to find some new "friends."

Lost and Found

Someone made this here , but took it from this person here. And I had to share it with all of you.

way to beat me to the punch, touche Watson.

Ice Ice Baby

All right stop collaborate and listen, or I'm going to smack you silly with these copper pans.

yikes.

Go watch Ratatouille-why? because this guy wants you to. It's a roller coaster of emotion, and told from the point of view of a rat. i feel the sympathy flowing already. If a small, furry, sewer dwelling, bubonic plague cousin doesn't get the emotions of your heart pumping, than honestly I don't know what will.

Gangsta's Paradise

I couldn't agree more Prince John. You got your long chain, pimp cup, and not to mention a crown. sahweet jebus. Collecting taxes, slaying wenches, and oppressing the people is really what I call a good time, welcome to the good life.

Too bad King Richard comes back and smacks you silly Young Yoc, i mean John, and Robin Hood is constantly grilling you. Originally, Robin Hood is seen as a heroic bandit? Outlaw? Badass MC? stealing from the rich and giving to the poor...yeah, i don't really know how my financial adviser feels about that. Furthermore, his green pantsuit is really something. He's just got the ladies fawning over him, swoon. And somehow PJ (Prince John) is able to convince King Richard to go fight in the crusades. ...Maybe we don't want a tool of a King on the throne anyways? Regardless, things were messed up in the UK.

So, Young Prince-what's it going to be? Feedin' the poor and helpin out wit they bills? Or Ridin' around town in a drop-top benz. If you were a true baller you wouldn't have to choose, because that's what a true gangsta does, and damn does it feel good to be a gangsta.

Unforgiveable

Enough smack talk, let's get down to business.
Really, green eggs and ham?! REALLY? That's not natural, fo realsz. GO and get that chicken sandwich and waffle fries, and watch me snatch it from her reeeal quick! Afterwards, I had my choice of movies: Dr. Zhivago, A Brief Encounter, and a Bridge on the River Kwei- A LEAAN NIGHT!

anyways, all this talk is making me hungry - pissin' me off.
Watch the original videos here

Anyways, Dr. Seuss, whose name is actually Theodor Seuss Geisel, is known for his famous children's books. He wrote over 44 books during his lifetime under a variety of pen names, but is also known for his political cartoons he made during WWII. He attended Dartmouth College for undergrad where he joined Sigma Phi Hairsalon, I mean Epsilon, and then did a bunch of really important stuff like get a PhD in Oxford. yeahyeah.

Fresh To Death

So don't go around tellin' me stuff i DON'T WANNA HEAR.

Snow White already has enough problems on her hands. She's got a crazy Queen trying to kill her, and not to mention she's living with seven dwarfs- really, she's got it bad dude. So, she really doesn't need this little bird all up in her business- COME BACK LATER.

Snow White is based off of a German Grimm's fairytale. The Queen in the story is obsessed with her hot bod and good looks, and she's got a mirror that reminds her everyday. But then Snow White enters the picture, and really messes up the Queen's perception of self-image and stuff. and So the Queen orders Snow White to be murdered, but the assassin just can't do it-fist of steel that one.

So instead Snow White hides in the forest with seven little dudes for years and years, and the Queen finds out and keeps on trying to kill her. Finally after a bunch of really terrible stuff happens to Snowie, a Prince arrives and fixes everything, and because the Queen's been such a big wench, a pair of "heated iron shoes are brought forth with tongs and placed on the Queen." She's then forced to dance in them until she drops dead. Karma with a vengeance y'all.

Stop-Hammer Time

oh baby baaaabAYy

Every now and then everyone needs a little R&R, a little sexy time, shmexy.

And who better than one of the world's most notorious political figures, the Chairman. Mao-man. He's workin' hard all day, and deserves to do what he wants, even if that means dressing up and you know...testing the boundaries of gender norms, but just on the weekends...or in private. But come on! Pink is a great color on yeh.

This is one of a series of silkscreens the infamous Andy Warhol did based off of Chairman Mao. This series falls within his legacy of highlighting the hotties of pop culture like Jackie O and Marilyn M. Everyone's attracted to mystery and tragedy-hey, misery loves company. And all of us want to be a little alternative...or at least I do.

Like a G6

They see my rollin

They hatin

Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty

yeahhhyuhhh, Krayzie Bone and Chamillionaire are totally rollin dirty with Sebastian in the ocean deep.

The Little Mermaid is a Danish fairy tale, and while the Disney version gives you the feel good ending all of us are craving, the real fairy tale ends in a much more...gruesome and maybe realistic manner. Basically, the little mermaid must be sippin' the crazy, because she gets legs from this crazy sea bitch, i mean witch, and goes on land to follow around this fine prince. But you snooze yah loosssze lady, the Prince marries a human princess and the little mermaid is devastated so she crushes a case of natty light or something, then goes to the Sea Witch again. The SW (Sea Witch) tells her that if she shanks the Prince and lets the blood drip on her fins, she'll get human legs, but alas, Little Mermaid Ariel can't do it, and instead throws herself into the ocean- delusional.

But hey, all of us need dreams to keep us going, and not all of us have Sea Witches to provide realistic solutions to our far fetched fantasies, we all need to escape reality once in a while. So for the rest of us in the words of Chamillionaire- we been drinkin and smokin holdin shit cause a brother can't focus.

Don't Tase me Bro

Fuck the Police, that's how we treat 'em, we can buy our way out of jail but we can't buy freedom. Kanye always knows what to say, and always in the most poetic terms.

We all heard about the UF student who was forcibly removed from a lecture, in which he repeatedly yelled "don't tase me bro! Don't tase me!" but was invariably tased anyways- the result of brute authoritarian force? Or merited punishment on a douche lord?

It's up to you, but his infamous quotation sparked a series of viral videos and songs.

Regardless, the issue of whether or not to fight the man, or endure a tasing is an ongoing question.

In this painting by Francisco Goya he demonstrates the lifelong human battle between freedom, independence, and well...men with guns. This painting called "The Shootings of May Third 1808" commemorates the Spanish resistance to Napoleon's army.

Here's looking at all the tased bros and those who'll apologize, but just won't take off their sunglasses.

gin and juice

Oh yeah baby, Rafiki and his drank. The African safari just wouldn't be the same without getting a little tipsy up in this club. Slow your roll, and enjoy the ride.

On a different note, Disney's "The Lion King" is the highest grossing 2D animated film of all time in the United States. Also, it won two Academy Awards and Golden Globe Awards. Simba must be glowing with pride...that little s.o.b., in the words of Charlie Sheen-he wasn't even trying!!!!!